10 things you only know if you’ve had an affair
Having an affair with someone you shouldn’t is still a fairly taboo subject.
Despite not being something a person usually sets out to end up in, having an affair is surprisingly more common than you’d think, with, according to a YouGov poll, an estimated one in five people admitting to an affair.
Whether it’s a bit of hanky panky in your lunch hour or a full-blown double life, it looks like we’re all struggling to keep our pants on and, regardless of your stance on infidelity, it’s here, it’s happening and isn’t going anywhere, anytime soon.
But what is the reality of having an affair? And what exactly should you expect from being the bit on the side?
From amazing sex to staring at the phone for hours on end – here are the 10 realities of having an affair.
1. It’s exciting
There are some upsides to an illicit relationship and the secrecy of an affair can be thrilling.
For the first month at least.
2. The sex is amazing
The majority of affairs are founded on what happens behind the sheets.
The benefit of this is guaranteed orgasms on a fairly regular basis, the downside – the object of your affections is likely to be having sex with someone else too.
Despite them insisting they don’t even share a bed anymore.
(Read: totally do)
3. You’ll keep your allure
And never have to worry about having bad breath in the morning, needing a poo in front of him or having to make small talk over breakfast.
Because he’ll have buggered off well before any of those dawn-time dilemmas occur.
4. You’ll spend your life obsessing about the other person in your relationship
And time-wasting will take on a whole new meaning when you find the Instagram account of their partner and spend the majority of your life scrolling through to see if he as telling the truth about not having been on that holiday in Mexico with her in 2007.
5. You’ll develop magic powers
Also known as the capacity to believe the most obvious of total BS.
Including the fact ‘they don’t sleep in the same bed anymore … they’re just together for the sake the kids … he’s planning to leave once the mortgage is paid off …. her great aunt has just died so he couldn’t possibly tell her now.’
6. You’ll develop an obsessive relationship with your phone
And freak the f**k out when your battery dies.
Because there is no torture like not being able to call back when you miss *that* call.
7. Your family will think you’re completely incompetent of holding down an adult relationship
Because, as far as they’re concerned, you’ve been single for the last five years.
8. Christmas, birthdays, New Year and, basically, any event that involves couples spending quality time with each other will be totally crap
Because: Bit on the side.
9. You’ll convince yourself you’re in love
Nothing quite builds a person up into something they’re not than hours of alone time planning/dreaming/fantasizing about the life you’re going to have together ‘one day’.
It’s fairly safe to say it’s the fantasy you’re in love with.
Not the person lying to numerous people in their life and forbidding you to call them at certain times of the day.
10. The novelty will totally wear off when they leave their partner
A great majority of what keeps affairs going is the thrill of the forbidden.
Once that’s removed, you’ll see the relationship for what it is.
You have been warned.